I don't post very often anymore but it's nice to hear your brutal honesty on your struggles. Makes me feel less alone. Your posts are inspirational for me. I struggle just like many of us do. Covid has made it hard to get and maintain support (at least where I live in the PNW). I long for the meetings where you are a body-present. Internet for counseling and doctors visits does not work as well for me.
Thanks for your posts. I can relate, totally, in what you are saying.