Ah Mizz I know very much that of which you speak. As I work through my fourth year of sobriety it is the lifelong obstacles and old habits that I have become most aware of. Avoidance and negative self-talk are my two beasts of burden. I feel in a way that sobriety is like emerging from a rough ocean, where I had struggled with these issues, to dry land, to still be fighting, giving in and pushing back against the same states of mind and ways of being.
I started reading Renee Brown's Gifts of Imperfection this week and it seems like the book speaks directly to these issues.
Thank you for posting and sharing here, as always, proud to be on the sober path with you.