You would be well served to get a counsellor to help you navigate dating and things are causing you problems. You are the poster child for counselling whilst you explore your life without alcohol so i really hope you get one. IMO you won't be able to go the next 40 years alone and happy not to drink! Do not make your counselling about your addiction as that will ensure it is a waste of time, tackle the issues as you are a normal person who used to have a problem with alcohol, do you see what i mean?