That family member of yours that died doesn't have to be you at all and I am glad you have recognized it. It sounds to me like there are multiple things you would like to address and you can change all of it. You can change your life. I think you are taking the right steps. The obvious step is to remove the alcohol completely but you already know that and there is no point in trying to hammer that home. Quitting is hard ******* work.
Get a structured plan together and work diligently at it. You said your mental health is getting better and that is so good to hear. Disser, you can do this. I hope you start to check in daily and make SR part of your structure. This community is a wonderful place to land.
I believe in you, Disser. One step at a time.