Thank you all for your kind words. I guess I should have mentioned that Im male. I noticed someone suggested a womens shelter. As fun as that sounds,....they'd probably turn me away. I hope that you all werent thinking I sounded so whiney that you all thought I was a little girl
Yeah,...Im amazed at even though deep down I KNOW that Ive accomplished alot to be proud of, abusive people (especially parents) can really get you to doubt yourself. "Can they be right?" "Are my accomplishments really nothing to speak of??" "Whats wrong with me??" I catch myself doing that often. But when I come out of the fog, I get REAL mad at them for minimizing my progress as if its NOTHING. I also wanted to say that Im not, nor would I ever, turn to suicide. Its just that it enters my mind sort of. I dont even have the courage to do that anyways. Ive been through that when I was actively drinking. I did end up going to an AA meeting (one of my regular weekly ones) the night I first posted this thread. I laid it all out there. Im total situation. The guys at my table are the same ones that have been sitting with me there for over a year and a half. I trust these guys. I look up to many of them. One of them, afterwards, said to me "I may have a solution to your problem" . He didnt get into specifics, but, after that, another guy who knows him very well said, that he thinks that what he meant was that he has a room to rent at his house. I really look up to this man like a grandfather figure. It would really work if this pans out. So Im optimistic tonight. Ill know by this Saturday. Thank you all so much for being there for me. I love you all !!
