I can relate sage. I am going through such a transition. It feels like a rebirth. So much from my old life I don’t want to go back to but don’t know how to move forward. Because I’m not fully sure who I am. I am out of my marriage to a alcoholic narcissist. And I am in a limbo period as my mother, who is my only remaining family of origin, is in hospice for heart failure and dementia. I am finally understanding how her narcissism and my co-dependence and need for her approval for 50 years has shaped who I am who who I don’t want to be anymore.
So she will be gone soon and I will be able to restart my life. But where and how to start? My old life involved friends and activities that revolve around drinking. And I don’t want that to be the focus of my social life anymore.
Both of my kids are in college. I don’t feel like dating. So I feel like I am starting my life from scratch and need to find myself. Because life has been for and about the lives and approval of everyone else in my life. It feels overwhelming.
As you move forward, I would love to hear how you are doing it.