sage.....I think what you describe can apply to sooo many people---and, especially. a lot of those who find themselves on this particular forum----including myself, in that.
It causes so many of us to look for our validity and value outside of ourselves---the dratted external validation---and leading many down a path of co-dependency.
The one thing that I would say to you, sage---is this------what you are attempting to do, now is absolutely possible to do. I think that you are "re-birthing" a part of yo
urself that has been buried deep--deep down. But it is there! You will see a new Sage emerging from the depths..
Now, that you have pulled back the curtains on yourself awareness---you will never be able to "unknow" what you now know.
Sage----you are valuable because you exist. All of the creatures under the Universe have intrinsic value---and Sage is not excluded!!!!!!!