Wow - VERY insightful post. You've been through more than enough, my friend. You've lived a lifetime before you even got there. Congrats on overcoming it all, and for choosing sobriety over a life of downward spirals. I guess everyone has a story. The good part is, if you TRULY believe that there is a light at the end of a seemingly neverending tunnel, you will triumph. You did it, my friend. Be proud.
Blessing to ya and major hugs,