BatGirl......I think that most people underestimate how long it takes to get through the grieving process. At only 4 months----with lots of INTERMITTENT REINFORCEMENT during that time----it sounds like you are not finished with the grieving process. I think it takes longer if it is something that you have based your life and dreams around.
It is certainly waaay too soon for you to be pronouncing your self as incurable------"I can't move on". Yes you will---you must, if you want to experience anything better than this in the next several decades in front of you.
If you have been lurking, have you read "Co-dependent No More", yet? In case you haven't I suggest that you read it right away. It is the most recommended book on this forums. It is an easy read and you can probably read it in a couple of day, or so. I am pretty sure that a lot of it will resonate with you. If you want, there is a co-dependent work book by the same author. That could help you to begin to process a lot of stuff--and help you to become acquainted with your own self. That is sooo key to avoid re living another relationship, that is similar to this one. I think that would be the greatest danger, ahead, for you. We humans tend to live in the same patterns---Unless--we do some learning from our past pain and stumbles.
Dear batgirl---you are still so young! You met him when you were 29. I am guessing that this is the most painful relationship loss that you have suffered...?
Except for the very, very fortunate---most all of us suffer this---which is one of the most painful human experiences---at least once. It is part of the kind of stuff and experiences that make a person wiser as one grows older.
My advise -----work like *ell on yourself and self evaluation---and, you will feel a lot better and be a lot wiser this time next year!