Originally Posted by
LovelyKaya33333 
Hi
Please please please read my story... This is all too familiar... except I didn't leave it alone at 4 years. I lasted 7... I married him... and here I am... 3 years worth of scars to prove the extra 3 years were there... I say this because your story reminds me soooo much of my story in 2016... but after 4 months of not seeing him and believing him that I was the one for him... I went MIA on this forum...only to return years later with the same cycle and many many many more battle wounds. There are things that a person needs to learn on her own. I know this because I was this... If my story can help anyone I will be as transparent as possible. NOTHING changes while they are drinking. Outside of a few details I have read story after story on the forum and thought that they were talking about my ex. Honestly at one point I almost messaged someone and said Hey is your BF with the wife (insert my husbands name) That is how close they are in character... At some point I started to believe what everyone said on here. I started to hear their stories. I stopped thinking "Well mines different" cause forever I thought "Honey, you don't know my husband... he is (fill in the blanks for the justification I kept to make sure we stayed together)...".... Anyhow, I know how bad this hurts....Also I almost 100% bet he has told the girl he is dating with the child that the only reason you guys didn't work out was because you didn't want kids.....making her attached even more to him.... not cause he loves her... but because active alcoholics will do and say anything to keep their addiction alive.... so if a parent in a mailbox is what she is wanting.. that is what he will say he will be.... if you are wanting someone who is intensely so in love with you...that is who he will be... See it isn't personal ( despite the pain in your heart I know that hurts ) he will be a chamelon to anyone who will listen so that his needs are met... and he can keep on drinking. Once I learned this I could actually let him go....... I am here if you ever want to chat
You have a point. He told his ex before me he didn't see us becoming serious because I didn't want kids and it was a dealbreaker. She showed me that text. I called him out, he said he thought about it for a long time and decided he was ok with it and actually preferred no kids. Then suddenly, its an issue and he found a single mom to test drive that life. I have no doubt he's told her we broke up over that. And that I am 'not over him', when HE'S the one reaching out, so he can be off the hook with her when I tell her he's being unfaithful to her too (and I have. Showed her screenshots. She stayed.)
I do see a lot of similarities in these stories. I'm on reddit too and they are all mostly identical. But then I read 'success' stories. Where they get sober and rekindle a couple years later. Its unlikely but it happens. I just don't want to believe he put on an act. I want to believe he felt how he said he did/does. And that I'm worth more than he has made me feel. Its like I want to blame his addiction for making me feel this way about myself, not blame him. If that makes sense. Maybe just looking to justify he didn't discard me for any reason other than his own demons.