I remember a birthday party I went to years ago. "Joe" had been clean and sober for years, and still someone brought a bottle of wine for a present, at which point someone said, "Oh I guess he can use it for cooking," (which I understand isn't a good idea, either) But it was curious that at least one person close enough to be invited to the party didn't know Joe's history.
I brought wine to a get-together of three work-mates, not realizing that one was in AA. I wouldn't have, if I'd known. I guess if someone was honest and open enough to say, "Hey, temptation is an issue for me" we could discuss whether it was important to go to a particular party, or for only one of us to go and the other offer an excuse. In the end the addict will have to function in the real world. Does that mean never going to a party where alcohol is served? Gee, I don't know. My husband was hesitant to go anywhere where alcohol *wouldn't* be available.
If someone close to me was seriously attempting recovery *and I knew about it* I'd abstain around him or her. Offering someone a drink when you know he's abstaining is something I'd consider unkind.