Every word of this rings true and mirrors my own experience with addiction and recovery. The illuminating thought here for me is that I don't need to beat myself up for relapses. If only I could have back all the time spent berating myself for relapsing or for struggling with the recovery journey. I had no idea that gentleness towards my failures, and towards myself, was an option. Buddhist philosophy has given me a whole new way of living and being. I can't believe I got into my 50s before I found these things out. When I was in my early 20s I discovered self-help and positive thinking. It was a revolution then because I didn't know I could actively engage with my mind and take control of my thoughts, instead of just being dragged around by whatever was happening in my head. Weird, huh?