Just HAD to respond to your post.
When our A's are not drinking it is like holding your breath waiting for that slip. Our gut instincts are usually right, but we must let the A do things their way. If they slip, they slip. We must be there when they decide to come clean. Detachment with love seems to be the hardest part of this fight. If we could will someone not to use, there would be no addicts of any kind. She will eventually let you or her group into her situation, either by telling or outright using. In the meantime, hang in there and know you are not alone.