Hi Briansy,
Just one more post to you (not 'at' you):
- The only way I can relate to you is from my own experience. I don't believe I've ever told you how you should 'do' recovery; I've told you how I did it because that's the only thing I know. I honestly thought I was identifying with you. I wanted to tell you that I may have been in similar places to where you are now and offer some... I don't know, commiseration and hope?
- I never ever meant to be throwing shade at you. Far be it from me, as you well know. I am very sorry if I ever did that and hope you will accept my apology. I intensely dislike other people telling me about my self, so I'm really really sorry if it felt that way to you. (Straight shooting is different from accusations in my book, but I understand you may not have felt it that way.)
- I misunderstood your smiley faces, winks and questions as encouraging/appreciating my engagement even when you didn't 'like' it. Thank you for being direct in your request. No guess-work there.
- I've never encountered anyone in my long soppy life who has gone from problem drinking to moderation (or occasional blow-outs) to being fully sober. I honestly didn't know that was a thing but believe there must be such stories because you've read them. It seems that you have a different definition of sobriety than I do. I respect that - I just didn't understand that you were going for incremental improvements in drinking on the way to not drinking.
- 18 months ago you asked directly for 'tough love' and took us to task for not delivering. Even so, I've not seen a whole lot of that toughness in the intervening time, but of course that's only my perspective. Perhaps that's what you mean by my 'vague statements' that I didn't think were vague at all. I'd ask you which way you want me to communicate with you, but as you've asked me not to post 'at' you at all, I guess that point is moot.
- Here's the facts: there is no such thing as a 'sober lifestyle' that involves drinking and there is no such thing as incremental sobriety. You drink or don't drink. It's a binary equation.
I will not write you off because you told me to go jump in a lake, but I certainly will honor your request to leave you alone.
I'll be around if you ever want to 'talk.'
xo
O