earlybird

I dont know what to do. I lived in my own place for 7 years. I finally got help with my alcoholism. My mother and I talked about it just before I went into the treatment center and she talked me into moving out of my apartment and back in with her and my father until I get back on my feet. Well,...that was two years ago. Since I moved in here, I did my Inpatient Treatment (one month),..my Intensive Outpatient Treatment (three months) , got a well paying job, saved up and paid for my bankruptcy, waited and got my year sober and then went and got a lawyer to try and get my license back (after 11 years revoked), got the license back, saved up and bought a car,....and all the while,.... remaining sober. When I moved in here, I set goals. I have achieved every goal I set thus far. Now Im saving for a new place to live. I have three months to save and look. Then Im kicked out. This is because my parents treat me like Im still drinking. Especially my Mother. She demeans me, belittles me, humiliates me, insults me, minimizes anything good Ive achieved as being no big deal and this is absolutely destroying me inside. My father just "goes along with" whatever my Mom says. Regardless. My mom rules this family with an "If your not with me,...you're against me" attitude. So everyone simply acts as though they are WITH her just to not become her victim. They do this even though this means my emotions, and life,... suffer greatly. Nobody ever comes to my aid or my side. They all just hush up or walk out when it starts. My mom can use this to argue that she must not be doing anything wrong if nobody says anything. My dad is the biggest "Yes-Dear" husband I have ever seen. Now,....I know the easy answer is MOVE OUT. Yes,...I know this. I have nowhere to go and not enough money to go there yet. I AM going to be out soon. But even with that, my relationship with my parents will still be the same. They refuse to attend even one Al-anon meeting. My mother is harbouring DEEEEEEEEEEEP resentments toward my past. She calls me names.......loser, mooch, baby, tells me I should be embarrassed of myself. She hasnt had a single friend in about 20 years. Has never worked. Has no education to speak of. My father completely and totally supports her. Lets just say that if some how he was gone, and so was his money,....she would be lucky to maybe last a week. She has no skills. Nothing. So Im thinking that she demeans and belittles me, because Im the ONE person in this family that she can convince herself that shes better than. And with me getting my life together, she sees that fading. So she trys to keep me down. Keep me in the same role as I used to be. She recruits my brothers to have the same God awful opinion of me by telling them flat out lies about me or what I do or have done. For instance, the other day she walks into the kitchen and I am just sitting there minding my own business,....eating groceries I paid for, and she rolls her eyes and says "Is that all you do?....spend all your money on food.....you have no bills, why do you even work??....your so pathetic". I hadnt said a word. Seriously. This is what I put up with every day. The entire time Im home. My sanity is going. She then goes and tells my brothers who live elsewhere, that I harrassed her, called her names, and act as though I own the place, and show them no respect. This stuff isnt even in the vacinity of the relm of being true. She says whatever she can, even if its a flat out lie, JUST to get others to hate me as much as she does. When others are in the house, she is purposely noticalby overly nice to them in front of me. Almost as if to say "Yup,...look how better I treat others than you" .....FAKE.... Shes trying to strengthen her power over me, by making it so I have nowhere to turn. Everytime I talk about a new place Im looking to get into to live, she starts saying things like "You cant afford that" or "You wont be happy there"......trying to desuade me from trying to move on. Almost like she "loves to hate" me and doesnt want this situation to end even though she says she does. In the middle of an argument, she will stop and go and get my Dad,...and all but order him to be mad at me by telling him tales of me harrassing her, or embelishing her side of the story to paint me as the villian. I dont know what to do. Its killing me inside. I hate this. I keep thinking of suicide. Help me.