What surprised me the most about AA was how much I had in common with other alcoholics. I went in thinking I'm different, my anxiety and all, im pretty messed up in addition to the drinking. Sure people drank in different ways, all day every day drinkers, every so many days drinkers, functioning, people that like to drink & drug, but we all have a somewhat similar alcoholic mind.
Many of us had some kind of anxiety and depression before drinking alcoholically. So there can be this illusion that drinking will get rid of anxiety and depression. It can be like the chicken or the egg. Do we drink because we have anxiety and depression or do we have anxiety and depression because we drink? Alcohol is a depressant and a poison. We always remember the ease and comfort but its not only the hangover its the following days. That depression and anxiety can just hunker down and linger. We can take a drink for some instant relief. After the instant relief the anxiety and depression grows again on the base it solidified with the last binge.
My first my thought was I will need some kind of medication or something, I just can't live in me! I underestimated how much of a role the alcohol played in accelerating this and what the 12 steps could do.