There are a lot of sobriety podcasts. Annie Grace has one, "This Naked Mind," which is a series of short podcasts, easy to listen and digest. She's pretty good. There are also Youtube AA videos, look for Joe and Charlie AA 12 Steps on Youtube.
The first few months were super hard.
I understand being scared. I wasn't scared of sobriety, I was scared of my own thoughts. They get better, it does take some time.
Hang on, Janine. You're just going through the worst bit right now - it WILL get a whole lot better. Lots of us drank to self-medicate, and lots of us recovered from our depression, anxiety, and alcohol abuse.