Hi all.
Today has been 5 days since my last drink.
. It is really, really terrifying and the cravings are insane.
I wound up in the ER on Father's Day because I thought I was having a stroke (I didn't, thankfully.) When the awesome ER doc asked about my risk factors, I was honest & said I'm a 40 year smoker, 30 year alcoholic, have HBP & cholesterol & am under intense stress at my job. He wanted to admit me for further testing and I initially said no and started crying.
The doc then asked me why I wanted to leave & I said, well... my job, my family, etc. This guy saw through my lies and asked what the real reason was. I said they'd have to detox me and he said ok, let's do this.
Here's the amazing thing. Hospitals here in NJ don't offer inpatient detox. They only help find you a facility that does.
After 30 years of addicted misery, I'd finally been trying to find a medically assisted inpatient alcohol detox for months that would accept my crappy insurance. I finally did & was supposed to enter treatment 2 weeks after I wound up in the ER. Seems my body didn't want me to wait another 2 weeks. However, they couldn't keep me a full seven days & the struggle is intense.
Anyway, the story could go on and on but what I'm really looking for is advice on what I do next. The hospital psychiatrist diagnosed major depressive disorder and severe generalized anxiety as well. (Go big or go home, right? Lol!🤣IOP? SMART Recovery, AA, get a sponsor...?
I'm lost & talking myself out of breaking into a liquor store.
All comments are appreciated and thanks for reading.