I've also been wondering about you WLL, I'm glad you have circled back.
Two weeks in is nothing. I'm glad she is still attempting to sober up but her words make it pretty apparent she isn't there yet because she's still trying to spread the blame around. Until she gets to a place of 100% accountability having important conversations with her will be pointless. I know it's frustrating, I'm sorry my friend. Don't worry about what she's up to, focus on you.
Guilt is a heavy emotion. I think most of us parents struggle with it to some extent or another. I know I sure have. I'm trying to release it, it serves no purpose. I did the best I could with the tools I had at the time. That doesn't mean I couldn't have or shouldn't have done things better or differently, but I can't change that. Dwelling on things I can't change makes me sick so I really try hard to let go of the past.. definitely learn from it, strive to do things differently going forward, but let it go. I know it isn't easy. Remember, we've been conditioned by the people who raised us, some times we have to untangle ourselves from that generational baggage so we can change the way we approach our hurdles.
I hope you will hang out with us again for a while.
