For me, i wasted a lot of years demonising alcohol and seeing my addiction as an external force like an alcoholic voice pushing me to use again. I managed to stay sober for a number of years through pure grit and AA but that didn't last for me. It was only when i looked at why i drank alcohol and what it gave to me that i finally made headway. Why was alcohol an obvious solution to me no matter how much hurt it had caused me? What was it that alcohol gave to me, imagined or real? Because, for me, the lengths i went to in order to keep alcohol in my life were not for something that i thought held no value to me! For me, alcohol treated my anxiety, it stopped me thinking, i didn't have to be responsible, it just felt like it shut the world the f*** up for a time. So i had a lot to do when i stopped drinking as i had to address all those things in order to stay sober. Wishing you the best.