Hi JT,
i have explored this topic in depth even though my parents are not alcoholics, it was for my recovery. There were other addictive and dysfunctional behaviors however. In any event, it lead me to alanon and for that, I am grateful.
What worked for me was to do adult child therapy for a couple of yrs. All I have to say is AMAZING. There's a lot of answers in there. It definitely had a huge impact on my life. I tried ACOA meetings but, sorry for the bluntness, I found them to be very winey. There was a lot of complaining about 30, 40 yrs ago. I am more results oriented than that. I like to look at what happened, how it affected me, and be able to identify the behaviors that I posess that gets in the way of my relationships TODAY so I can understand them, work through them, and kiss them good ridance.