Jessica.....I am going to tell you what I think is a good plan that I believe gives the most opportunity for adjusting to genuine recovery (mindful that recovery must be ongoing for a lifetime). This comes from a lot of experience with alcoholics. This allows for a lot of time and space for each member of the family to get their feet on the ground and eliminates a lot of misery, on both sides, during the difficult first year of the recovery process. lol...it makes the trip through hell a much shorter and less painful. The first year IS a hard one on everyone.
I believe that a year in a Sober House is a good plan for the family and the alcoholic as well. The Sober House can be near-by, so that visits with family is allowed. You can google "Oxford House"---it is a good example of what I am talking about. (I owned an Oxford House, at one time) I owned it and rented it to the Oxford House organization---I did not run it---but, I had a lot of contact with the residents and the administration).
During this time, you and the kids will have as much work on your plates as the recovering alcoholic---if the family is to thrive--at least, it gives the best chance.
You and the kids---especially You, must be open to changes and a lot of your own self reflection and examination. Any event in a family has ripple effects, throughout---that effects every member of the family to some extent.
Of course, aclcoholics are known for wanting what they want---and, the want it NOW. However, I think that it behooves you to look at the longer term Big Picture.
He may not fully understand what long term recovery looks like and what all is required---but it is ESSENTIAL that you do---as this is the only way that you can make the best decisions for the best welfare of yourself and your kids.
Knowledge is power.
Please continue to educate yourself....there is sooo much to know.