Originally Posted by
trailmix 
It's hard to say, you won't have any of those answers until he has been sober for a while. Plus, the putting the drink down is different from actually getting in to recovery. Really looking at your life and correcting whatever got you there and to stop being so inward looking and realize other people have lives and feelings and worries and the whole world does not revolve around you (him in this case). True recovery means he isn't walking around ill-tempered, battling everyone, miserable.
This is very helpful to me. Thank you. And yes, I’ve read here, taken notes, and will continue to do so.
Dandylion, thank you too. It was recommended in Al-Anon that we attend an AA meeting and I have yet to do so. When I stayed in a hotel several months ago, I spoke with several men in AA who gave me valuable insight, primarily that it’s unacceptable to have my husband in the home if he is getting drunk. That really resonated with me.
My plan this week is to schedule a family session with the therapist I mentioned previously and work out a Safety Plan that she recommended. In the event of a relapse, AH agrees to leave the home for an extended period until it is clear that sobriety is achievable OR the kids and I have access to a comfortable place to stay for an extended period. AH agreed to this today and I was clear that while I am not angry with him, I will not live with an active alcoholic, and I will not allow the kids to, either.