Jessica.....I can see that you are trying to establish some boundaries...which I think is a good thing, in general---And, I think that the alcoholism is no longer a "secret" in the family, is a good thing. It is always better, if it is not hidden under the rug, especially for the children. It is less confusing, that way. I do think that trailmix makes a very valid point that the children should not be a part of the actual decision making---as this can really backfire, later on. **Of course, they are entitled to express and talk about their feelings. Children should not feel like they have to shoulder adult problems and responsibilities.
Something that you said did jump out to me. You say that you don't want him to return home until he is in "active recovery". My question is this--Do you really know what active recovery looks like---and, how long it takes for a person to look and behave like they are in active, genuine recovery? I will say that the average person does not have much of a clue---unless they have undertaken a lot--lot--of education on the subject. Heck, many professionals, including doctors and counselors/therapists require specialized education and experience, above and beyond their usual training.
Another point....here in the U.S., it is really hard to force someone from their established home---so, if he insists on coming back, I think that you will need to consult a lawyer in order to learn his rights as well as your own rights.
I suggest that you might find it really educational to attend some AA meetings, yourself. Did you know that you are allowed to do that? Yes, you are allowed to go to meetings that are marked as "open meetings". They often have speakers (recovering alcoholics)....and, you are allowed to be a guest and not expected to participate. I think that this will be very educational for you, about what recovering is all about.