Originally Posted by
ciowa 
Welcome back and thanks for the message.
I've thought about what a decision point for a relapse for me might look like and I think I would have to conclude that everything in my life is worth throwing away in exchange for a relapse. In fact, I might very well die that night because I would go all out and drink until i passed out and very well might die by doing so.
Early on when I was first sober, I wondered what a "moderate night out" might look like and I started to game out a scenario, by myself, in a remote area 20 miles from the nearest town, with no access to a car or liquor store, with no access to the internet or cell phones, etc Anyway, the scenario got so ridiculous I thought to myself, whats the point of doing that?
i think youre discovering my theory. If you ever relapse, in short order you will catch up to the "Alcoholic trajectory " you are always on. Staying sober starts a new (opposite curve) in a better direction.
im starting to enjoy sobriety again. Lost a lot of weight, eating better, taking care of my family, reading to my kids at bed, long dog walks... its a much more fun trajectory to be on.