Welcome back and thanks for the message.
I've thought about what a decision point for a relapse for me might look like and I think I would have to conclude that everything in my life is worth throwing away in exchange for a relapse. In fact, I might very well die that night because I would go all out and drink until i passed out and very well might die by doing so.
Early on when I was first sober, I wondered what a "moderate night out" might look like and I started to game out a scenario, by myself, in a remote area 20 miles from the nearest town, with no access to a car or liquor store, with no access to the internet or cell phones, etc Anyway, the scenario got so ridiculous I thought to myself, whats the point of doing that?