I felt the same at 5 days sober. We recover in stages. Things will get so much better - you'll feel hope again.
The misery that life long drinking brings - you don't need it, dustyfox. I drank 30 yrs. & in the end it was every day. I never made a move without having it in my system.
I failed many times too - but the last time was different. I was terrified of my behavior & disgusted with myself. Talking it over here at SR helped convince me I could get free. I stayed with it, & now have 13 yrs. sober. There is no doubt you can do the same.