Thread: Day 5 - pain
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Old 05-19-2021, 05:17 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
DriGuy
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Join Date: Nov 2018
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Five days was the worst misery I had experienced in recovery, but it wasn't the same as yours. It was an overwhelming obsession. I don't recall having any physical pain on that day, but then everything got better after that. I don't know how much of that reversal was because of a natural tapering off of cravings. Mostly, I think it was because 4 hours later, was the first time I committed to something other than a brutal war between will power and addiction. I took the first action of consequence.

First, I attended my first AA meeting. I had already read the book, and knew the 12 steps, which I recognized as something that would be of little use to me. But the people were welcoming and happy. They had clearly discovered something about sobriety that warranted more that sitting around craving a drink every day of their lives. If they could do it, I could do it. I had been involved in alcohol counseling, which involved seeing a counselor once a week, and then floundered for 6 days in addiction. It wasn't helping. But AA was a group that met every day, mostly celebrating sobriety. The daily meetings gave me something to look forward to each day. All I had to to was make it on my own for 3 hours after work, and drive to my safe base. This gave me something other than going to a bar to be around people. Later, I also got help with specific issues when I needed it.

Second, it was the first time I considered total sobriety. Moderation was an abject failure that amounted to nothing more than feeding my addiction, and I never moderated for one minute. But when some old timer pointed out that the AA goal was permanent abstinence, I recognized that this is what I needed to do. And that old timer seem no worse the wear from having done exactly that.

Instead of waiting 7 days to see a counselor, all I had to do was make it to a meeting every day, and that meeting was enough to carry me through the rest of the night. So there were two things that happened that first night, that turned the corner for me: 1)Being with people everyday that celebrated sobriety and 2)Committing to life long abstinence. Recovery happened fast after that, and by that I mean the diminishing of cravings happened fast. With that out of the way, I could begin getting better in a way that was enjoyable.

ABOUT PAIN - This is part of life. It has nothing to do with recovery. It does make a good vehicle for your AV to use against you.
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