Originally Posted by
ScottFromWI 
Glad you came back to ask for advice Secretchord and congrats on a year sober. Drinking (or not) is always a choice, so when you refer to "preventing a relapse" - what you should really focus on is what things you are doing that allow you to make the right choices in regards to alcohol. Have you been following a plan of some kind and recently fallen off or not focused on it as much? Maybe you need to change things up? I know that for me it was very important to recognize that addiction is not something that is ever "cured", so we can't just assume that we can go back to living life without acknowledging that.
I think I need to come to terms with the latter part of what you stated. I feel like at this point in time I shouldn't be having these thoughts and urges. But this is going to be a lifelong struggle that sometimes I will need to take one literal day at a time. Forever an addict is a tough pill to swallow.
I never really had a "plan" other than to come here for support and to quit drinking. I'm not an AA person, so this forum, prayer and (previously) medication, have been my main sources of help.
I'm not exactly sure what's been bringing on the more frequent thoughts. Could be that my father has cancer, my job has been super stressful lately, my sober anniversary coming up, the warmer weather. Or maybe just a combination of everything.
I appreciate everyone's responses and support. For me, sometimes it just helps to have other like people listen to how I'm feeling, you know?. I plan to read through some of the links provided.