Thank you, everyone. It's been just refreshing to hear everyone's perspective even though it doesn't always paint a pretty picture. I'd prefer an unpleasant truth to a pleasant lie. I get the sense she's sorry and wants to move forward. She's been more talkative and affectionate with me. Shows me she's wearing her ring now, etc. She's changed all her passwords and in a normal relationship, that wouldn't matter. But this is the catch 22 that's driving me crazy. It seems like she's hiding something but maybe she's not anymore and wants to straighten herself out but I'll never really know. The recent events don't give me a reason to trust her. Should I ask her to share her password? That just seems controlling and not the person I want to be. But if she wants and expects me to continue this relationship with her, especially with my own life to think about and given that addicts are manipulative and the recent events give me a reason to not trust, should I be allowed to hold her accountable?
I think to know if she's really back on track to recovery after this circus and if she wants me to be her anchor, I'm gonna need something to show I can trust her. I just don't know what that should be. The only thing I can think of is more access to her and what's really going on. I'm just very conflicted about her wanting to talk about getting back on track and getting married and etc, etc while I don't feel I trust her very much at the moment.