Originally Posted by
case762 
I was afraid someone would say this but I knew it was going to be said. I'm an optimist. I thought she'd find purpose and change. I never knew an addict before but about a year in, I started suspecting something was wrong. She has a past of always needing attention from men and it always bothered me. I thought it was just her survival mode and that she wouldn't need that with me. But I've always known it was part of her addictive personality. So here we are. That was my next question. Do they ever really get better? I've got three great kids and a great life. Will she ever be able to live a healthy life where we lift each other up, not where I'm trying to rescue a drowning victim while they pull me down with her?
I hear you. We all hope they will recover.
There are many many stories here generously shared by members. Perhaps if you have a read around, it might give you a clearer picture.
Sadly addictions usually worse as the person goes along.
Recovery is possible. I am an alcoholic with about 11 years sober but boy, it was and still is an ENORMOUS amount of work. On a daily basis. It is not just about stopping the substance or behaviour, that is just the first part. The hardest and ongoing part is changing mindset, outlook, getting new coping techniques etc.
Sending warm wishes of support to you