Originally Posted by
trailmix 
hi sueby, I am also glad you are in your own place, that has to be somewhat of a relief.
I know there is always a bit of hope, however, perhaps you might just want to just accept his drinking? He is going to drink sometimes, "this" dry period won't last. If he manages to get sober for say, a year and has a strong support system, then perhaps you can revisit the idea that he might just work it out.
It can be really counter-intuitive to start thinking that way. Alcohol is bad/broke up my marriage/hurt me/hurts him and his other family/lost jobs etc etc. To accept it doesn't mean you support alcoholism, it just means you are accepting him just the way he is. Why not? He is who he is.
It's not personal to you, of course, it just hurts you personally!
Thanks, this is so true! I haven't spoken to him since yesterday and I'm ok with that. But tomorrow morning we have an appt at DMV to transfer a vehicle to our son and register another one, so I will need to see how sober he is to get that done. Then I'll go back to leaving him in 'peace'.
For the most part I realize that his decision to drink (or not) isn't related to me personally. But it's hard to feel that way 100% of the time, so I have periods where I would like to whap him on the head lol. He hasn't followed a program or plan since he left rehab last fall so I knew his recent dry spell wasn't going to last, he hadn't been doing anything to support himself staying sober at all. Which is why I wouldn't agree to move back in, he would need a lot of sobriety time in before I could see that happening.
Thanks everyone!