Thank you for replying, I really appreciate it. Like I said, I don't really have anyone I can talk to about it.
Sorry its taken until now to reply, it's been a rough couple of days. My wife has been drinking back to back days since Friday, but our child didn't sleep much last night. He's asleep now though, so I have some time.
I've really thought about separating, but at the moment, I honestly don't see a way to make that work. As my wife is from the US, I'm not sure how that would affect her immigration status, which could lead to her being sent home, which would mean either our child goes with her (unacceptable) or she goes home without her child (I couldn't do that to her).
For now I feel like I'm best just keeping everyone as safe as possible and when our child is a bit older things might be easier and there might be more options.
I have been noting stuff down for a while, since this has been going on for a number of months, and she would disappear all evening, but it's only since the pubs opened back up that she's been gone all night, and I've been keeping more detailed notes. Partially as a reminder to me about how bad it gets, for when we have a few good days, and she acts like I'm exaggering everything. It's also in the back of my mind that I may need it as proof if I need to talk to a family lawyer, as you mentioned.
She has said in the past that she doesn't remember what she did when she gets drunk, which is frustrating as it seems to absolve her of any blame. Like if she can't remember it then it was like someone else did it.
You are right though, even if she doesn't remember what she did, she still would have woken up somewhere strange, next to some strange guy, and chooses not to share that information with me! Her standard excuse it that she is friends with a barmaid at the pub and she stays with her when she drinks too much. The problem with that is that she seems to forget that I can track her phone because our accounts are linked (we set this up ages ago, before she started drinking again), and unless that barmaid lives at a different house every day, then she is lying about it.
It's not really a question of if she has done the dirty at this point, she's not exactly been good at cleaning up the evidence. I'm going to have to live with that, as this point I'm kind of numb to it.
I agree there isn't an easy solution. I'm just going to give it some time at this point. But being able to vent somewhere is at least helping a bit.
Thanks