formylose

This is my first post here, thank you for providing this forum, I don't really have anyone to talk to about my situation so it's nice to at least have this.

My wife is from the US and we've been together a few years and she has drunk on and off during that time. I was always concerned that she seemed almost like a different person when she drank, but when she went through long periods when she didn't drink.

I had a child 6 months ago and I think maybe she has been suffering from post natal depression because she started drinking again before Christmas and it's been really difficult ever since. On average she drinks every other day, although sometime she'll be sober for a week or so at a time.

Every time she goes out shopping she buy alcohol and hides it around the house. She's usually obvious by about 5pm that she's been drinking and it gets worst from there. When she runs out of alcohol in the house, she goes out to an off license or a pub and is there until closing time. I'm left holding the baby.

Sometimes she doesn't come home when the pubs close and I don't see her until morning. At first I'd believe her excuses for why she didn't come home, probably because I wanted to. Although it's been abundently clear on several occasions that her excuses aren't true and the scenario I fear is true instead.

One of the worst parts is that when she is sober she doesn't remember anything about the times she was drunk, so to her, it's like it didn't happen. So for all I know she genuinely thinks I'm exaggering it or being paranoid.

I've thought about leaving many times, but there isn't really any way I can do it. She doesn't have any support system over here, and how would I leave? Would I move out or would I force her to? I would want full custody of our kid as I don't trust him in her care and there have been instances that validate this concern.

She's breast feeding our child too, and he won't take the formula milk, so if nothing else I need her around to feed him until he's on solids.

I've gone through all the stages. I've been angry, I've tried to reason with her, and I'm now at the point where I just try and get through the day.

I don't think there is an easy solution. Maybe when my son gets a bit older my options with change, or maybe my wife will make progress.

I can't really talk to anyone I know about this because if she does manage to turn it around, I don't want them to think badly of her.

Anyway, thanks for listen to me rant, it helped. I only have the time to write this because my son is asleep and I haven't seen my wife since 8pm. It's now 3am, so I'm guessing she will turn up some time tomorrow and I'll have to clean up the mess.