Originally Posted by
trailmix 
Ok, I am anti-manipulation, so I hope this doesn't come across that way.
You have been speaking your truth to him. This has zero effect because you are not saying what he wants to hear (you already know this).
You know him, what would get him out? Could you say, I hear you and I hear your pain. What if you leave and go and stay with whomever for a month while we both clear our heads and reset from all this anger (parents nearby? Friend? Church Friend, heck the pastor!). I'm sure his church friends will rally round him (you may want to point that out to him) "they are his rock". They think so highly of him and can be his quiet place to land for the time being.
You know what I mean, is it worth a try? Be on his side, save him from you : )
It might be, if he had friends. His sibling has their own family and I don't see the in law allowing him in. I guess it’s a possibility.
Tonight he tried to corner me into picking “commitment to the marriage,” file for divorce, or seeking couples counseling which I will NEVER again subject myself to with him. He specifically said no trial separation, he’s being “tortured” because I won’t pick one or the other. Never mind that he would make my life a hellscape even more than it is now.