I have spoken to DV and I get pat formulaic responses that seem like they’re coming from a computer. Sorry. Wasn't helpful. I’ve spoken to lawyers and have someone in the stable.
Today he wanted “a 15 minute conversation to resolve things”. Which I stupidly agreed to listen to. It was an attempt to manipulate me into saying I’m staying in the marriage. I told him I couldn’t agree unless he was willing to truly reflect and empathize with me and the kids as far as his impact on us and asked him to seek individual counseling. That went as predicted. He denied he ever had a drinking problem since he hasn’t had any for almost a year (but has been mean controlling and manipulative the whole year, and threatened to buy alcohol at least 4 times), immediately tried to equalize the pain he caused with how we’ve “isolated him in the middle of a pandemic and emotionally abused him”, and refused to seek treatment. Then he gaslit me by suggesting my medication needs to be changed and I’m not thinking straight. Finally he told me “not to come back to the marriage bed until I am
committed to the marriage”, ate dinner in 5 minutes in the bedroom, and stormed out slamming the door nearly off the hinges.
PS he’s a religious fanatic, I’m not.
PPS The advice I need is how to get him out of here ASAP because I can’t live with this while
a divorce is underway.