The insanity of it all
Things really can't get much more crazy, can they? Yes, oh yes, they can. I hate alcohol anymore and I think I'm gradually becoming a teetotaler because I just hate how it's destroyed my AH and our marriage, along with everything else in the path of destruction.
I know my marriage has been over for quite some time now, I just can't quite make the move to change the living situation. I feel like I'm getting forced out of the house, and I hate him for that. The rare moments of his lucidity sometimes gives me hope that perhaps "this time" he'll get it. He'll see the light and know what needs to be done, and will do it. It's so laughable anymore because he's proven to me time and time again that he's not capable of change. He doesn't want to, truly, even though he talks about how miserable he is. It's so frustrating.
I left the home back in late Jan/early Feb. I went back to see how things would change. They didn't, at least for long. He's not a good husband and not a good friend. So, why am I still here?!