Thank you for posting AliLong. I feel you, as I love my AH very much as well and will be seeking a divorce soon. It's going to kill me to even tell him, and he'll cry and say hour much he loves me and how I'm his whole world. But one thing I've come to realize recently, is that though he loves me, my place as his first love has been replaced by alcohol, and until he does his work, no one can compete. And also, just this week I recognized the damage my own co-dependency and enabling has had on our relationship. As previous commenter said, you don't have to start in co-dependency, but most relationships dealing with addiction end there. We had a great ten years before the past seven, so that makes it even harder. What I've realized is that WE can't go on like this; I have to work on myself and he has to do the same. AND it's okay to still love him, and remember the good times, and think about new chapters that won't include him. You can do this, I can do this, and there can still be great things in our lives as we we work through the pain.