Hey Zombie,,
How are you doing? I hope things are going better for you. My only advice for you is to keep trying and keep reaching out. My drug of choice was meth and any upper, I loved the way it made me feel until I didn't. I can honestly say I no longer like the way any uppers make me feel. It's been many years since I have done any of that stuff.
One thing that was huge for me was staying busy, planning my day, whether it was going hiking, going for walks, journaling, whatever you can do to keep your mind off wanting to use. Don't give up on yourself, you are worth the fight.