Part of what I hear in your posts is a separation between your self and the decisions that you made to drink. I say this because it is a way of thinking about drinking that I engaged in for many years as well. You keep saying things like "it creeped up on me" and "I knew this was going to happen" - ways of thinking about drinking that deny the fact that drinking doesn't "happen" to us - we decide to take the steps necessary to drink and then we drink and then we decide to take another drink etc etc ad infinitum.
I don't say these things to criticize - I say the because, for me, changing that mind-set, finally taking full and total responsibility for my decisions to drink, is what led to my finally putting down the booze for good, forever. No one is coming to save you. But you have it in you to save your self.
And there isn't a person here who hasn't been where you are. Make a plan, put it down for good.