I realized I posted this under alcoholics but my AH (soon to be ex) is a heroin/ crack/ whatever he can get his hands on addict. All the advice still applies and I greatly appreciate it.
sorry for the mix up. Figured I'd wrap this up on this post...
So I did it again. I found out his password. I saw the messages. No proof that they have been physical but sending messages like "wish I was with you right now" and saying they have butterflies and planning dates. He didn't mention me once when telling her about his days (half of which were lies like telling her he's going to meetings.... which he's not and is another red flag) . I'm glad I was able to see it so I don't have to wonder. He's asleep right now. I'm waiting until morning so I can gather my thoughts and not explode and I'm ending the relationship. I don't think there's any way I could ever get past this. The drugs were one thing. This hurts.
I havent done therapy myself. Just naranon (which was great) but I'm going to need to therapy for sure for this one