This is a sad story. I have seen it in my own family. What we seem to be forgetting is that alcoholism makes dysfunctional families and the alcoholic is not the only one afflicted. I appeared to be getting sober one time when I relapsed. I will never forget the look on my father's face - his hopes had been raised then dashed. This happens to every partner of an alcoholic. He never said a thing, but I knew I had yet again destroyed any progress he had made towards trusting me.
The same thing with my mother, also an alcoholic. When I got sober, a big effort was made to help mum. Dad got his hopes up when she was admitted to treatment program number one, and they were dashed shortly after her return. Then the same thing with treatment number two. Then just a continuation of the lies and deception, the denial even when she could hardly stand. And you should have heard what was coming out of her mouth, a resentful tirade of hatred and resentment towards both dad and me, face all screwed up, muttering under her breath - we both could have been the most horrible people in the world - according to her.
Dad did his best to keep her safe. It ruined his retirement, he could not go anywhere for fear she would burn the house down. He stuck with her right up to his death. And she continued to hate. After his death her hatred extended to include all the extended family on Dad's side. Totally irrational as we never saw them due to the fact that they lived so far away. Before she was seventy she had to be placed in care having twice been found in an awful mess due to DT's. She was not capable of looking after herself. She often said she wanted to die, but as I have seen with alcoholics who won't surrender, only the lucky ones get to die.
Now she lives in a home, is well into her nineties, gets no visitors, and still hates the world. This seems to be the end destination for an alcoholic who will not take responsibility for their part. She believes and will tell anyone that it is all Dad's fault, even more than 20 years after his death. She loves to play the victim, and is living walking proof that victims don't recover.
This may not be you, but it is worth noting that my mother's determination to blame everybody else were rewarded with over 40 years of a lonely miserable living hell which still continues today.