Your story sounds so similar to mine own, except for having children. I also binge eat and know that when I do that it is entirely emotional eating. Right now, I am once again trying to reign in my eating and lose the 30 pounds! that I gained. I've lost about 6, so I am on a downward trend. It's tough and personally, I find keeping to a healthy eating pattern much HARDER than not drinking. Why? Because you have to eat, but you don't have to drink.
I also cannot moderate alcohol at all and I would bet my life savings that 99 percent of the people on this forum cannot do it either. There is the dream that we can moderate and have a drink here and there, but that's all it is. A dream and one that will always turn into a nightmare.
So for me, I took alcohol off the table completely. No if's, ands or buts. No wiggle room. How did I do that? I made a promise to myself that I would never drink alcohol again, and I would never change my mind, no matter what. The key to my success was the "no matter what". No excuses, no saying - Oh, I've had a hard day. I just need one to steady my nerves. Someone died. I'm depressed. I'm on vacation. No one loves me. I'm an alcoholic so I might as well dinrk. The excuses are endless.
Once you take alcohol off the table - you close the door. Don't leave it open one crack. Make ONE decision - I do not drink alcohol - EVER.
I'm now 6 years sober. There has certainly been times when the thought of having a drink has crossed my mind but I repeat my promise. The thought goes away.
I wish you much success in your journey.
CF