freedomfries

I hadn't been practicing AVRT and I had a slip yesterday. Drank a bottle of hand sanitizer and some beer.

So today is Day 1. I'm going to be vigilant in recognizing AV moving forward and dismissing it. This really feels like my last quit date.

I should have posted to SR when I felt like picking up. I'll stay closer to SR moving forward.

I'm feeling pretty good today. I had a healthy breakfast and went for a run at 11am. Normally I'm too anxious to run this late in the morning. Going to do some yoga later.

I guess I drank because my life feels hopeless right now. My mental state is a mess. I don't know if it's my paranoia or if there is a huge conspiracy to get me to kill myself. And I thought a nice buzz would make me feel better. It did of course but I woke up with a hangover full of regret.

I apologized to my parents and we're good now. It was just a blip.

I feel completely done with drinking. There are better ways to cope, better ways to have fun.

I'm going to use SR, mediation, prayer, exercise and reaching out to my friend in recovery as part of my recovery toolbox.

One issue I have is lots of free time. So I'm going to develop more hobbies and help my parents more around the house.

I will never drink again and I will never change my mind. No matter how bored, depressed, anxious I feel. I feel free from the clutches of alcohol.