trailmix

Hi Learning. Well the truth is, you can't. You can't make him see what he doesn't want to see (or perhaps acknowledge to you) and you can't make him do what he doesn't want to do.

You didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it (the 3 c's).

His alcoholism is driving him right now and there is no way you are getting through, not tracking him, not tracking his blood alcohol level, none of it really makes any difference, except maybe to enable you to feel in control somehow?

He will quit drinking exactly at the moment he decides to and not before. Try to remember it's not personal (although it does affect your personally) he is not drinking at you, he is just drinking.

Perhaps now is the time you stand by your boundary and don't allow him to come back to your place until such time as he has sought real recovery, whether that is rehab and recovery, AA meetings, therapy or all those things. Sobriety and recovery are two different things though, so that can can take some time. Perhaps your boundary might be that he can't live with you until he has a year of sobriety and is working on recovery?

Have you attended any Al Anon meetings at all? You also deserve support - here, Al Anon/other groups.