WNNM, I'm very sorry for your loss. Having lost my dad several years ago and my mom last summer, my experience is that it can be a big shock to the system and take some time to process the grief. And you're right, drinking would only delay that process and make it more difficult to come through to the other side of it.
One suggestion I have would be to look for grief support groups or a therapist that specializes in grief. It can really help to talk to others who understand, and to talk out all the various things we go through when grieving. For example, I think it is really common to second-guess things we might have done or said in the last days or weeks of a parent's life ... I know I regretted something I did while taking care of my dad his last week. Once he was gone, I could never correct whatever it is I did or didn't do, so I just stayed stuck on that thought. Now that I have had some time to process it, I've forgiven myself and realized it was really a small mistake, and I was just doing the best I could at the time. Grief counseling can help up sort through some of those things.
With covid, a lot of support groups and individual therapy can be done online. I'm still in therapy to process the grief of losing my mom. I didn't get enough support after my dad died, and it just delayed my healing... so with my mom's passing I'm getting weekly support. You can also post here on SR in our grief and loss forum ... lots of folks there understand.