Thank you for your feedback. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure my spouse would say the same. It's eye-opening. I kept pushing the envelope and got away with it. In the throes of it, there is no clarity, no ethics. I have been reading more threads from loved ones and seeing things I didn't realize. The idea of "detachment" is fairly new to me. Sadly I interpreted the silence as "no consequences." I was getting away with it. I didn't go to rehab but there were many times I thought of it as the only way to eliminate access. I wish I could say something more helpful. Your post spoke to me and I thank you.