2 great responses here.
Active alcoholics are all different, but the chaos they/we bring has common points.
I've done well to detach myself as best I can from her drinking but I doubt anyone on here needs me to articulate the loneliness, despair and abject misery that comes from living with and loving someone who is alcohol dependent.
There's no rule anywhere that says you need to deal with all this alone and no rule that says you have to stay in a situation that brings you such ongoing pain, although I understand that many make a decision to do so.
Keep reaching out for support - you deserve it every bit as the alcoholic in your life does
D