Hi Bidgdrunner
I think it's impossible to give one solid answer to your question as in my opinion all people are different, addicts or not. Some may be that delusional or feel entitled enough that they don't feel any remorse or don't admit to themselves that there's something wrong with their behaviour. Others are full of fear, shame and regret and still can't stop the compulsion to do it again.
In my case I didn't realise that my drinking was different to other's. I grew up around my dad's extremely heavy drinking and since he runs a very successful business and is functioning, never day drinks etc, I just didn't classify that as problematic or even alcoholic. To me an alcoholic was someone who is old, homeless and poops his pants regularly. Someone who drinks 2-3 bottles of wine a night while still going to work the next day and looks put together just has a "good" tolerance. That's how I saw it until my life circumstances changed, I was able to work from home during the hours I wanted to and suddenly I found myself day drinking. Even that I was able to justify / rationalise for a while ("A glass of white wine helps me to get energised in the morning, it's my type of coffee, it helps with my low blood pressure...") And at that point my by then partner had already pointed out that I am always drinking when he comes home from work. I didn't think about his comment at all, it didn't lead to reflection, I just brushed it off and took a note to myself to stop using the wine glasses and drink out of normal water cups instead, so he wouldn't notice.
What made me seek help was when I noticed that I was too anxious to get anything done if I didn't drink. That I couldn't start the day or leave the house without a few sips. I thought I had just developed a bad anxiety disorder but talking to a few therapists opened my eyes and I realised that I would go straight into withdrawal if I didn't drink every few hours.
Luckily I managed to quit once I had that realisation, so for me there was probably a lot of behaviour that looked insane or at least suspicious from the outside but I was unaware of that aspect at that time. And later, once I knew I had a problem, I was well aware and desperate enough to change.
For many people it has been very different though. My partner for example, who is also in recovery, knew from a very young age that he drank alcoholically. But he kept going anyway, thinking he'd deal with it soon enough. He often felt deeply ashamed when he heard about what stupid or dangerous things he did when he was drunk, felt absolutely rotten and demoralised the morning after a bender and was full of self hatred and dispair, thinking he'd never make it out of the addiction.