wishing......with this guy, it does sound to me like you are walking on thin ice---where angels fear to tread. I say that because I can see so many red flags. Perhaps you see them also--and I think it would be in your best interest and welfare to pay attention to them.
If you haven't already read "Co-dependent No More", I suggest that you would really find it helpful---it is the most frequently recommended book on this forum.
I agree that alanon can be useful for you---for your own validation from people who understand and for your own self exploration.
I think that this would be a wonderful opportunity to invest in your self. It is the greatest gift that you can ever give yourself----and, it can change your whole life.